


Process Improvement

by Bramblepelt



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Under-Desk Blow Jobs, mods are asleep post bradko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:31:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9473501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramblepelt/pseuds/Bramblepelt
Summary: Taako gets a raise. Brad forgets an appointment.





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering how Bradko came about as a thing stop, go read Mu's Bradko fics, then come back to this. This is practically a fanfic of a fanfic.

Most folks would wake up in the morning and dread a 9-5 office job that involved stacks of paperwork, regulatory oversights, and constant performance reviews. Not Brad. Brad Bradson loved working in Hero Resources. It had taken quite a while for him to find the correct fit of a career, but once he did he had committed to doing his very best at it. That is, after all, how he attracted the attention of a secret organization trying to save the whole world. Nobody less would do for the Bureau of Balance’s HR department.

 

He was precise.

 

He was punctual.

 

He had attention to detail.

 

And he currently had an elf leaning over his desk trying to convince him to skip work early.

 

“Taako I told you already, I’m saving my PTO for a family reunion. I’m working until six and then I can spend time...socializing.” Brad said, smiling at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be training with Merle and Magnus right now anyway?” he asked, looking at his watch.

 

“Oooooh my GODS dude you ACTUALLY punch the clock? I didn’t think people really did that. You know Lucretia doesn’t care right? I think she has like, a thousand more pressing concerns than whether or not her HR manager was sitting at his desk at 3:12 pm on a Wednesday.” Taako was starting to climb onto the desk to get more at eye level with him. “The important thing to consider here is I am bored, I don’t need any training whatsoever because my magic is already perfect, and you’re the only interesting person I can find right now.”

 

Brad smirked back at Taako, now kneeling on his paperwork. “Lucretia doesn’t audit the time stamps for payroll purposes, Taako. I do.” he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “And I’m sorry but leaving three hours early would just be dishonest. It doesn’t send a positive message to the other employees here. I have to be a model of ethical-”

 

“Blah blah come on man this is so lame!” Taako interrupted, dramatically throwing his arm to his face. “If I’d known you were going to be like this I would’ve just watched Fantasy Frasier instead, that’s how boring you are right now.”

 

“All I’m saying, Taako, is that you can do whatever you want-” he fought a sly grin threatening to break his facade “but until six o clock I can’t leave this chair.” Taako stared at him for a few moments before realization began spreading on his face.

 

“Oh, well in that case homie, make room for Taako.” he said, crawling his way to the front of the desk and into Brad’s lap. “Cause Taako’s here.” He wrapped his arms around Brad’s neck and leaned down to his face, pressing their lips together. Taako groaned into his mouth as he felt large hands gripping his knees and slowly traveling up his legs and under his skirt. He inhaled sharply through his nose when he felt that now familiar grip cup his ass. Brad smelled like cheap but unoffensive cologne. Taako would have to fix that next Candlenights.

 

Brad started trailing small kisses down the side of his neck, pausing at the curve of his shoulder to really pay attention to the skin there.

 

“Careful there, you’ll leave a mark.” Taako drawled sarcastically as if the last one wasn’t being proudly displayed, faded but noticeable, on the other side. “So Bossman, what exactly did you have in mind accomplishing from this chair? Cause that bulge I’m feeling doesn’t seem too keen on being ignored in all this.” he shifted his hips to cause the slightest bit of friction to prove his point. Brad pulled away and studied Taako’s face for a moment.

 

“Well, why don’t you take the lead on this project? Micromanaging isn’t a useful tactic for achieving long term success in your teammates.” Brad smirked, squeezing his hands around his ass.

 

“Cheese and rice dude I can’t believe you can even make sex sound boring as shit,” Taako slid out of his lap and got on his knees on the carpeted floor in front of him. “Just say ‘please suck my dick’. Like, it’s not that hard? Stop bringing all that nerdy six sigma shit into it.” he started working on Brad’s belt. “Like I get it, it’s your thing or whatever Mr. Administrative badass but it gets real annoying real quick.”

 

Taako ran his tongue up the length of the now exposed orc cock in an attempt to just get to the entire point of why he was here. Brad just kept looking down at him with that same pleasant smile he always had for Taako. It would be obnoxious if it wasn’t starting to become endearing.

 

“You’re always so full of constructive criticism Taako, you should peer review some of the performance evaluations this quarter.” Brad pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Taako rolled his eyes and knotted his brow.

 

“You do this shit on purpose.” he muttered before wrapping his lips around the ridiculously large erection.

 

“Really I don’t know what you mean.”

 

The quiet rhythm of a clock ticking and heavy breathing was interrupted very unfortunately by a mild knock on Brad’s office door. Taako paused with three inches of green dick in his mouth. Brad clenched his hands, one on the chair arm and the other threaded in the elf’s hair. 

 

“Shit,” he muttered, looking at the clock on the wall. “The three thirty.” Before either had a chance to consider their options the door began to open. In walked a young adult human who paused a few steps from the desk.

 

“Hi I’m Relena, the Director told me to stop here for onboarding and room assignments? I know my appointment is three thirty but like I always say if you’re not five minutes early you’re already late!” she said. Taako felt like he was going to gag, and the dick wasn’t even in his mouth anymore. She extended her arm and walked forward. Brad quickly moved to busy his hands sorting through the several files and stapled paper stacks that Taako’s knees had so helpfully re-sorted for him. 

 

“Yes yes, ah here’s the packet, Ms. Relena yes. Uh, please have a seat.” Brad said as nonchalantly as possible.  _ What are you doing _ Taako screamed internally  _ Tell her to leave dumbass!  _ This was the worst. Absolutely. Being put on hold for work business, for a stranger, so he could do boring paperwork when he was having  _ this _ . A fuckin insult.

 

“So you’ll be taking over in the library? That’s fantastic, the research area is incredibly vital for our seekers. Alright, you can start by filling in your personal information on these tax forms and then we’ll move on to benefits explanations.” He was really doing it. He was continuing with this meeting like it was completely normal.

 

“Oh wow, I guess I wasn’t expecting a secret moon base operation to be in line with kingdom tax code.” The woman laughed.

 

“Well what good is saving the world if we’re not also properly paying our part into the social contract?” Brad said.

 

Taako was going to die. He was going to die of anger and boredom and it would be all Brad’s fault. He silently sighed. If he was going to meet his final end here he may as well go out the way he lived: downing on some sweet dick. He decided to give it a small try, you know just tease the option, see what happened. Maybe prove a point to the jerkwad. He rested his tongue flat on the base of Brad’s cock and let his lips cup over. He felt Brad’s hand snake back into his hair and gently press his head closer in.

 

Oh, well cool then.

 

“Ok just so you know we have an excellent on site health care clinic at no charge to employees. Some of the best clerics around night and day, experienced in all forms of healing magic. One of them does dental too!” There was no change in his voice, no indication that he was being an absolute terrible jerk face.

 

Taako moved his mouth slowly up the shaft, agonizingly slow, his hand taking over where his tongue had started. If Brad liked to tease then fuck it, he was going to tease right back.

 

“The gym is mostly used by the active adventuring staff for training but it’s open for any employee to utilize. There’s also a pool and weekly yoga classes. We like to emphasize all around wellness for everyone.” He took a bright yellow highlighter to the gym’s open hours and the ‘bring your own towel’ policy before sliding it over to the recipient. 

 

Slender fingers traced shapes under a well ironed button up shirt. Taako knew there was that one spot, ah, a knee twitch told him he had it. That would do the trick, surely. 

 

“This is a normal non disclosure agreement. You already went through the more unpleasant part of the onboarding so you know this is a redundant measure, but we prefer to keep everything legal and in order here.” It did not, in fact, do any tricks as he continued to explain every single piece of paperwork without missing a single important signature line.

 

Taako decided enough was enough and to just go ahead and get out the big guns. He tilted his head just a bit to give himself room to get his mouth around the tip again. He let his mouth linger there for a moment, waiting for any kind of go ahead signal. He felt a finger rub small circles at the top of his neck. That was a good one. He pressed on, taking as much as he could in one go. This was now a challenge. 

 

“This booklet is yours to keep, it outlines the policies and procedures for the facility as well as important contact information like maintenance and environmental services if you have any trouble off shift.”

 

After a long while of forming perfect pressure and perfect strokes with his mouth he got to work on the bottom part with his hands. Saliva wasn’t the hand job lube of choice but when life hands you lemons, jack off the lemons.

 

“And here’s where your dormitory assignment is located. Normally I’d escort you myself but I’m just so swamped with assignments today. Please ask anyone if you need assistance, everyone working here is incredibly friendly and happy to he-” Brad lost his composure for the first time for just a moment, pushing his hand to his mouth. Sudden light pressure on his balls was not an expected component, but was gladly welcomed all the same. He could practically feel the smugness radiating off Taako.

 

“Are you okay?” Relena asked.

 

“Oh yes, just some hiccups. Watch out for the cafeteria’s curry bowls on Wednesdays, they pack quite a punch.” Brad recovered so well Taako wasn’t sure if it really was hiccups or his skilled hands that forced that noise. 

 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for your help, I think I can find my way around easy enough. See you around.” Relena waved and opened the door, letting herself out, and closing the door behind her. The moment the definitive click sound of the door latching was made Brad’s hands went straight back down to Taako’s hair. His hips were slightly thrusting up now, assisting in the elf’s stroking assignment. 

 

_ So he really was just holding back somehow _ , Taako thought,  _ fuckin knew it _ . The realization had lit a motivational charge to meet the home stretch. He set a slightly faster pace with his hands and focused on pressure with his mouth. He heard a mumbled ‘don’t stop’ and in a few moments Taako had exactly what he wanted: a mouthful of tangy jizz and sweet validation. He wiped the moisture from his mouth and cheeks and looked up at Brad under hooded eyes. 

 

“So now what’s the plan buddy, you’re just going to sit here for two hours?” he teased, nodding at the clock that was barely past four. 

 

“I can make up the time tomorrow.” Brad said. Taako stood up and kissed his stupid perfect boyfriend.

 

“Good cause now you owe me dinner babe, and someplace nice. No Fantasy Applebee’s.”

 

“I think I have a coupon for Fantasy Olive Garden…” Brad opened his desk drawer and pulled out an envelope full of perfectly cut squares of paper. His coupon stash.  _ Of course  _ he had a coupon stash.

 

“I’m letting this one slide because I am all about some endless breadsticks. Find your coupon and change your pants, meet you at five.” Taako stretched his arms over his head while making his way out of the office. He gave a sly wink and wave before slipping through the doorway and into the hall. 

 

Brad was a professional.

 

Brad had exceptional composure.

 

Brad was completely smitten with a shitty elf wizard who made his life exceptionally difficult.

  
But damn if it wasn’t great.


End file.
